Post-its to yourself

As I continue to have flashback memories of B., I also had a powerful memory just now that I want to make sure to remember.

I tried to break up with B. so many times. But I was weak then, and too concerned about hurting him and also hurting myself even more.  One of my final attempts included the help of a close friend, Maria. She had watched me suffer throughout the latter part of the relationship and was witnessing me spiral towards the end. She had never seen me so drained and so unhappy, that she, and along with other friends, told me in different ways that "the light inside [you] that is so bright is being sucked out of you."

One day, as we sat in my apartment, I told her I was finally done with B. She took immediate action after I told her this, and said she will help me make sure not to feel sorry for him again. She knew that I was scared of ending things: for him and for myself.  

It only took her minutes, but she did something that really made such a difference in my empowerment process. She grabbed a post-it pad from my desk and began scribbling.  I didn't pay much attention, but later, she went around my apartment and posted she wrote in different rooms and places: bathroom mirror, kitchen cabinets, TV, walls, etc.

Each post-it had its own short message. They said things like:

• Stay in a relationship out of love, not fear.
• You deserve to be happy.
• You are NOT alone.
• You can totally do this.
• People who love you do not hurt you repeatedly.
• People who love you take "no" for an answer.
• A cheater betrays you because of him, not because of you.

I looked at those post-its everyday for a month even after he left for New York. The post-its were my friends. They represented the people who loved me, who saw me for who I was before him, and they supported me when I felt most alone. I have saved those post-its and to this day, I feel so grateful for my friend Maria, and for the messages that I needed when self-empowerment was not accessible to me.

So often in life, we may feel alone, yet we have the love of so many others who may not be around you to give you that immediate feedback. That's OK, though. Even if you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. Give it to yourself! Channel them! Bring them into your world and space through whatever way that is liberating.

Apparently, post-it notes are the thing for me. This memory brings such a smile to my face and I'm reminded of how lucky I am, how loved I am, and how blessed I've been to have had, and continue to have good people being the majority of those around me.