100% committed

Nothing has changed between Jay and me.
But I woke up this morning questioning if he might be "the one" for me.
Maybe he isn't-- and that would be weird for me to even think out loud.

In the past, I never questioned my relationships. I always assumed that they would move forward and I would live happily ever after with my partner. In every relationship, even from the beginning, I'm 100% in!

The only times I've doubted any relationship was when I've been extremely hurt -- like when I was suddenly dumped by Robert and cheated on by B.

Jay has done nothing of the sort. He has not hurt me in any of those ways.

But I woke up wondering if it's possible to be less than 100% committed. Maybe it's OK to question. Maybe I'm not feeling it 100%.

Perhaps he is not the one for me. Possible, he is not my ideal guy.

This kind of thinking forces me to take my rose-colored glasses off to see things for what they are.  As amazing as Jay is, he's not the best long-distance boyfriend despite being only 2.5 hours apart. If I feel this way now, how will it be if or when he goes to Europe or out-of-state for his postdoc?

People refer to having a "love tank" that gets filled by their partner, and when we're together, that tank is filled to the rim. But when we're apart, it is a different story-- and I don't know if I'm OK with that.