Making first contact

So it turns out Jay was on a bike ride for a few hours, hence the unresponsiveness last afternoon.

Still, it's becoming more of a norm that he is less- or non-responsive to my texts.

For example, the super cute Easter egg picture that I sent him? No reaction. I also texted him late last night when walking home from the office at 2am. I asked if he was awake and based on his lack of response, I assumed no. Still, I woke up this morning hoping for a belated text or at least an acknowledgment of mine.  Give me something to work with!

We talked on the phone for a bit last night and it was such an relief for me. I've  really missed him this week and wanted to hear his voice. Being on the phone makes him real and I needed that.

Sometimes, I bask so much in my feelings of relief that I wonder if I seem unresponsive. I am distinctly aware of lulls in the conversation but I'm too busy releasing all that pent-up energy inside me. It's such a relieving process that I often forget what to say. By the time I finally get to speak to him or be in interaction, I no longer know what I wanted to tell him because it all seems trivial compared to tremendous release happening within me.