When the boyfriend and parents meet...

I am eating the words from my last post.

My boyfriend and parents met each other this weekend.
The experience ended up being quite disappointing.

Mom and dad did not speak very much to him. Partly, that was due to the bustle of the city and the excitement of the nightlife and partying all around us.  Another part of it was the language barrier and their unfamiliarity with English.  Jay was quite shy, now that I think about it. But it's not completely on him. Both sides could have taken a more active stance in initiating conversations with each other.  I did the best I could, but alas, it was... awkward and uncomfortable since it was just me pulling hard to no avail.

On Saturday afternoon, Jay drove to meet up with us a few miles out of the city so he could park his car and we could ride into town together. When he arrived, we swapped seats so he could drive my car since he knows the neighborhood better. As we sat in the front, mom and dad said barely nothing to him-- nothing in English, that is.  I could hear them speak in my native tongue, though. Dad made comments about Jay's height, weight, speculating on numbers and making jokes throughout.  It was rude, insensitive, and I was mortified. I felt incredibly protective of Jay after that, and when we took a walk together at the park, I pulled him to the front and we walked separately from my parents.  At one point, my mom waved at me and told me walk faster. Can you believe it? She later told me she meant it as: lead the way.  Sure, mom, as though that's really what you meant.

The rest of the night operated like 4 people on 2 different dates. I felt stuck-- in the middle of two parties of people who had no interest in getting to know one another. My parents didn't ask him any questions, other than "do you cook at home?" while I was in the restroom. As for Jay, he was also quite passive. He did not initiate asking even one question-- I didn't notice that about him until I talked with friends today and they suggested he might have been shy.

Jay gets a break on this though, because I continue to feel protective of him. I wouldn't be surprised if he sensed my dad's evaluative judgment towards him. If anything, I feel like mama bear now. I left that date feeling even more nurturing of him, wanting to do more to take care of him, and feeling more committed to him to shield him from all negative energy-- including that of my parents'.

I drove home that night feeling disappointed, angry, and then even more disappointed in my parents. Why couldn't they have been more host-like? 

I have since started doubting this relationship, wondering if the dynamic will always be like this if I date someone who's of a different race and language background as my parents. Was this meeting an omen of any relationship I have with someone who is not the same as me? Is this a sign of Jay and my incompatibility down the line?

Whatever the answer is, my heart feels gloom. I can't help but wonder if Jay feels what I feel now. I feel anxious thinking about his experience of our date, and his interpretation of what's to come. What if he doesn't want me after this? What if that experience was so blah for him, that he's also re-evaluating me and this relationship?