What happens in my head... stays in my head.

My insecurities increased exponentially after my parents and Jay met. I feared Jay would cut me out, drop me like a ball, or run for the hills. I expected one or all of the above.

However, he remained... the same.
He still texted.
He still called.
He still flirted.
It was like nothing changed.

But I changed. Me. I began panicking and returning to my old real self. One night, I felt my anxiety skyrocket when he didn't text me back immediately. I had called him and it went straight to voicemail. Of course, knowing me, I checked on gchat and saw him flick from orange to green. I held my breath. He did not text or call me back. Fear settled in before coursing out and being replaced with sadness and loss. I began to think what it would be like to return to the dating world and starting over from scratch. Bye, Jay. I wonder which lucky girl gets to meet you next. Who did I think I was, rejecting the word "boyfriend" when that could actually be taken away from me?

... a few hours later, he texted to say he fell asleep and was sorry to have missed my call. "No worries," I casually said, and we moved on to talk about our day.
It was like nothing changed.
He has no idea what all went through my head during that waiting period.
And he never will!