Am I in a long-distance relationship?

The distance between me and Jay is approximately 123 miles.

The commute is a 2 hour and 35 minute drive.

Last weekend, when we met some people learned about this distance between us, they said to him: "Oh! So you're just her friend, not boyfriend." He shook his head and explained his role and that we generally see each other weekly. Still, they exclaimed, "No, you're just friends, then!"


I don't get it. What does the distance change? Apparently, everything.


In the 4 months that Jay and I have been dating, he drives to me on a weekly basis. Usually, he gets in around dinnertime on Friday and leaves sometime Sunday morning.  When he hasn't been able to come on Fridays, he will drive in Saturday and then leave early Monday morning.

This weekend, he would like me to go to him. In fact, he has requested that I attend a party-planning event to spend time with his friends. We are planning a party and hanging out-- in preparation for an actual humongous party next weekend.

• Part of me swoons with the idea of going to him. I am excited to see his group, his people, and be in his life.
• Another part of me needs a break from these weekend dates because I can never get any work done when we are together!

Am I currently in a long-distance relationship?

If I say NO to the one request he's ever asked of me, am I being a selfish bitch? By saying NO this time, will he think that I won't drive to him because I expect him to always come to me? That is absolutely NOT true but will he assume that?

If I say YES to this weekend escapade, will I be distracted and eventually resentful of my decision. Willl I be true to myself and my needs?  Will I be honoring my relationship with myself: a goal that I've been working toward throughout these last few years? By saying YES, am I giving up pieces of me for someone else (again)?

There is no right or wrong answer here, but being in a long-distance relationship would affect my ultimate decision.

I looked up some blogs today, hoping to read about long-distance relationships, but most of what I found detailed international long-distance relationships. As I read those, I wondered if mine constitutes long-distance. Originally, I would have said no, but others insist that it is! There is no ocean to cross here. No time zone change, and no need for currency exchange. Somehow, knowing all that makes it even more confusing to me.