Don't settle.

I spent the weekend out-of-town celebrating a good friend's wedding and being one of the bridesmaids among a group of close friends/colleagues from grad school. It was seriously the best reunion I could ever ask for.  And it was inspiring, motivating, and also a whole lot of fun.  At the end of the night, the bride got together with us girls for some post-wedding processing.  As she talked about how much she loved her husband, she started crying and said to us, "Don't settle. Please don't ever settle. I was alone for a long time and so was he.  We each had our own individual journeys before finding each other and before we came together."

I cried with her for so many reasons.  I know about her journey to love and I know how hard it has been.  She and I have seen each other at our absolute lowest: me with B., and her with a previous ex.  Many a nights we have sat together crying on the couch, feeling rejected, heartbroken, alone, and lonely.  And she has come so far. She deserves this love and she deserves the happiness that she now has. I couldn't be happier for her and I couldn't commend her for being more deserving.  At the same time, I also cried for me because I have hope and because I am finally on the other side.  I didn't settle.  I did for awhile, but finally, I was able to let-go. I will continue onward and I will be OK, even if it's single and alone.

So, to all of the men and women who are alone and not settling at this moment, I want to remind you that it'll be worth it in the end.  You may have settled at some point in your life, but you are not right now, and that is commendable! You are growing throughout this painful process and you will arrive at a healthier place having been able to sit alone to figure out who you are, what you want, and what you can't give up.  The more you know yourself, the more easily you can pick-out who the right person is for you. That's what I believe for me, and that is why I have hope for the future.  I am working on me because I don't know myself yet.  I am working on me because too easily, I lose myself into someone else. I am investing in myself so that in the future, I can make better decisions for me.