Beneficial flirting

They say there's harmless flirting, and I would argue that over the weekend, I had a very healthy dose of flirting that is benefiting my mental health and well-being.  What actually happened is that at the wedding, I walked with a very cute and courteous groomsmen.  As we walked down the aisle, arms linked with one another, he was very gentlemanly and very attentive to my safety.  He slowed down at the same time I did and let me cross over cords that were very difficult to walk over with high stiletto heels.  He also let me cling onto him quite tightly when we had to dance into the reception.  And he didn't let go until I let go-- probably because he knew that with such thin heels, I appreciated his arm to hold onto!

This isn't such an exciting story, but the little details have got me happy. hopeful. and excited.  It's been... 7 years since I last held hands with someone I loved.  And the truth is that none of my boyfriends (EVER) liked to hold hands.  They always walked faster than me, always walked in front of me or behind me.  And IF they held my hand, it was always very loose. My hand would easily fall out of theirs and they would just continue moving ahead while I tried to catch up to cup their hand around mine.  I should have known that it was actually symbolic of our relationship.  With every loose hand holding experience, I wanted to cry out: Hold onto me tighter!  Don't let me go! Want me! Care about me!  Care enough so that I don't slip away!

So, this weekend, while I happily danced to the music with the courteous groomsman that made me feel cared for again, I felt relevant again.  I felt cherished, I felt cared for, and I felt delicate.  I am worthy of good hand-holding. I deserve someone who will latch onto me tightly and be aware of the potential pitfalls that are ahead of us. Ahead of US because we are one unit walking together. A good man will not just walk on ahead without looking back, but he will also notice what is ahead of me, and the potential dangers that I fall into.  He will watch out for me and we will be in synchrony when we talk together.

This is a good metaphor for a good partnership, I think.