Spiritual connection

Exercising has been my new form of therapy.  Wow, I never thought I would say that. And I also used to roll my eyes at those who would say anything remotely close to what I just wrote.  In fact, when I first started graduate school, we were asked about how we managed stress to take care of ourselves.  As we went around the room to ask about each person's strategies, I found myself shell-shocked at each person's response.  Almost all of them talked about some form of physical exercise, whether it's going running, swimming, taking a walk, or just some form of outdoor body-movement activity.  In my head, I rolled my eyes and scoffed, because I thought, "Yeah right! When you are absolutely stressed from a day of work, you're going to drag yourself home to lace up your sneakers to torture your body? Puh-lease. Stop lying."  Honestly, I couldn't believe how healthy those answers sounded.  The responses almost seemed fake and such a facade of goody-two-shoes. My answer was something like, "Watch copious amounts of TV, hang out with friends, and eat comfort foods/junk foods."

Well, well, well. It's now been 6 years later and how the tides have turned.  The people I used to scoff at are now... me.  Myself.  When people ask me about self-care, I will now probably say working out, taking walks with my dog, cooking, and of course, I would retain my earliest response of hanging out with friends and watching TV.  I would also add taking bubble baths because that is absolutely one of the most relaxing things I ever do for myself.

But anyways, going back to working out... My journeys to the gym are now spiritual.  I have recently felt that working out is now my new form of therapy.  3 times a week, I get up and have a specific destination to go to.  It is my motivation, it is my outcome, but it is also a process that I surprisingly enjoy.  When I am working out, I am very present, very grounded, and very focused on how I feel in the moment.  I am aware of my body, I am in-tune with my heartbeat, and I am letting out all the toxins in my body through my sweat (and maybe even tears when it gets hard! haha).  I enjoy that one hour of pushing myself to the max because it's really just 1 hour!  And no matter how fast time flies, that 1 hour of working out always feels much longer because it's so intensive and I so want it to go by faster). Throughout my life, I've always felt like working out was the slowest way to pass time.  It makes me feel like time isn't flying by, and that it actually can stretch out and seem like forever...

For me, working out isn't necessarily just those moments when I'm pushing my body, either.  On the days that I do not work out, I feel really good because my body is sore.  I feel very connected to the muscles in my body, and very aware that a) I have them and b) they are being stretched.  It's a great feeling to be sore.  I feel incredibly productive and achieved! I enjoy those days even more because I don't have to work out and because I am so grateful for the rest days.  As I let my body recuperate, I also envision my body getting leaner, my muscles getting stronger, and I find myself standing taller and actually feeling healthier.

The other benefit to my newfound body-awareness is my eating habits.  I am trying to be more aware of being hungry/full.  My physiological awareness is matched to my sense of being sore and being sensitive to feeling parts of my body that I wasn't aware of before.  For example, my rib area was sore this week even though I didn't even know I had muscles there!  Discovering these new parts of my body has been empowering.  It's a constant reminder that there is more to myself than I know.  It is also a reminder to listen to my body and let myself feel rather than just think. 

In all these ways, being connected to my body has been ever-so-spiritual.

It is my new and wonderful form of therapy.