Boundaries first, then affection.

I was walking Mr. Z. today when I came to realize how much doggy-parenting has changed me.  And will continue to change me.  Having read a ton on raising a dog, I now know that to be a good pack leader, you must set enforce rules, limitations, and boundaries before expressing affection.  The priorities that Cesar Millan (and other dog experts) emphasize the importance of discipline, then exercise, and lastly affection.

These professionals have given me pearls of wisdom to carry into future relationships.  See, when it comes to people, I have gone in the exact opposite order of operations.  I give affection first.  I give my all.  And when it comes time to setting rules, boundaries, and limitations, I eventually give those up too.

Perhaps with a good partner, he would not continuously violate my limits, in the ways that previous ex-boyfriends have.  What usually happens is that over time, they will ask for more and more and more, and I will slowly but surely say, "oh well. OK. if it make you happy."

Perhaps that is why some relationship experts emphasize that women should not give "it" up before being in a committed, monogamous relationship.  Make them wait for it.  Make them work for it.  More than anything, our bodies are the prize that we set limits on, create boundaries around, and it's only after the relationship hits a certain stage that affection can be given... that the body can then be given.

I don't know how much of this makes sense for others, but it's certainly food for thought.  I will continue to think more about the rules, boundaries, and limitations that I didn't impose, and I will surely wonder what it would have been like if I had put them in place right at the outset.