A quick update on my morning so far!
I got up quite early to make it to my 7:15am training session with my crossfit instructor. I grabbed a couple bites of almonds and apple on the way out and the spent the hour huffing and puffing, trying to do presses and squats and abmats—trust me, these terminologies feel unfamiliar and intimidating for me.
When I got home around 9am, I took Mr. Z. for a walk and then grilled up a porkchop for myself on a bed of red cabbage and tomatoes. I should have taken a picture because my breakfast was delicious and colorful! Having made my very own homemade mayonnaise the other day – also known as “paleo mayo”—I felt incredibly productive and creative in my meal of art! I video-chatted with my mom while preparing my breakfast and she just about drooled before climbing into bed (she’s on the opposite side of the world right now)!
I’m celebrating this little success today because I feel good, albeit tired. I feel productive, energized, inspired, and hopeful. In contrast, when I went to bed last night, I felt anxious, alert, nauseous, and hyperactive. Not a good combination for bedtime.
My stress (and anxiety) is at an all-time high as I think about the news coming on Friday morning. At approximately 8am this Friday, I’ll hear back about my internship to know where I have “matched”. I’ll know if/where I’m going for the next year. The upcoming future will no longer be an ambiguous cloud of “I could be anywhere”. As I’ve been waiting, I can only sit on my hands and feel like I’m walking on pins and needles, simultaneously. The wait game makes me uncomfortable. And my alternative/coping is to work on something else, like… dissertation-- which is even more uncomfortable because I’d rather avoid that altogether.
Hence, the working out, the eating healthy, the sleeping early lifestyle. This is my best coping mechanism so far!
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