As I've been thinking about Jay, I've felt nervous about having difficult-and-necessary dialogue that follows my intense emotions. Of course, I can also stifle my own emotions until I explode. Why would I do that? Because "doing something about it" feels too threatening. Just the thought makes me sad because I don't know how to bring up past issues when it likely seems so outdated to someone else other than me.
And then I came across this article in my facebook feed. It is an article entitled: 8 steps to get past differences with your partner.
The timing couldn't have been more perfect. I thought that this article was written especially for me! The content focuses on how to address unresolved issues that are still relevant in your relationship, and gives advice for how to bring them up.
I am so relieved and liberated to know there is a term for what I've always struggled with. The concept is called "incompletions" and that is the unresolved crap that I usually deal with alone. Historically, it has always taken me a while to be able to process my emotional experiences. That means I grapple with many incompletions because not only are these issues
So often, I don't know how to bring up an issue that's already passed. I fear being seen as clingy, overly emotional, unable to let go of things from the past. I am so concerned with impression management that the incompletions never have a place than go, other than to fester, pickle, and marinate in my heart so that they never get brought up.
Seriously. this was such a great article.
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