Unhealthy relationships

3 weeks later, I'm right back to my apartment-- away from family, away from my hometown.

I have to admit, I had the best 3 weeks ever.  EVER.  That is why I didn't update.  I have so much to write, so much to reflect on, and so much to share.  I'll go into detail with each one of those updates, but for now, I just want to jot them down so I can review them later.

1) Learned about Robert and how he's doing these days (from his friend)
2) Hung out with Robert's friends and was kind of able to enjoy their company-- even though ultimately, they will refrain from giving me any information about him
3) Realized I had my own friends even if they are people I haven't talked to in a long long long time.
4) Began to feel comfortable about living in my hometown (more permanently)
5) Recognized that my perspective towards job interviews were similar to how I am drawn to unhealthy relationships

... And 6) I am starting to realize that across all of my interviews, there is the very real possibility that I will NOT be returning to my hometown, to my home city, to my family, and to... Robert.  In my head, I always thought that after 4 years of college away from home, and an additional 6 years of college in my doctoral training, that I would go back home to focus on my love life with Robert.  I thought that after all this schooling, I would return to what life was like beforehand. I thought Robert would eventually mature and realize that he me.  And I thought that we would figure life out after that.  I thought it would be a "we" after schooling, but so much of what I assumed was... untrue. My assumptions have been just that! And that is terrifying.