Companionship

I have planned it so that every night of this week will be socially active and busy.
I tell myself: "If I can get through this day, then I'll be OK."

And then later, I remind myself: "If I can get through this week without reminiscing too much, without having acting-on my overwhelming desire to reach out again, then I'll be fine."

I also adopted a dog this week-- his name is Mr. Z! -- and I could not be happier.  I've wanted a dog for a LONNG time, and leaving this relationship was the final impetus for turning my wish into action and investing my love, attention, time, and care to something/someone who will give it back to me in-return. Someone who will not hurt me, and who will instead, add to my day-today happiness and well-being. Being a 1st-time pet-owner/parent is also INCREDIBLY scary and therefore, fully distracted me from heartache, loss, grief, anger, and probably having a full-on depressive episode.

People say that dogs are like their sons/daughters. For me, Mr. Z seems to be taking care of me! I tell him about my heartache,  I confess that I miss the companionship of my ex-bf, and he I cry. True, I feed him, walk him, shower him with love and attention, but he really does give me peace of mind and a sense of companionship that I need right now. He fills a void in my heart and when I do talk to him about my pain, my loss, my sorrow, or even when I am thinking about these things in silence, Mr. Z. doesn't judge-- not that I can tell-- he just listens (maybe?) and sits with me while I figure all of this out, little by little.

I'm totally on my own but I do not feel alone with Mr. Z around.