In my attempts to chronicle my striving to be paleo, I've taken pictures of the groceries that I purchased this weekend. If I haven't mentioned it already, the paleo diet also has a sustainability focus that encourages purchasing organic fruits and vegetables, as well as grass-fed meats. So, over the weekend, I went to an organic co-op store and spent waaaaay more money than I ever thought possible to feed just one person.
I made special efforts to purchase foods I don't normally eat because come on! variety is the spice of life, right? In summary, my purchases are organized below:
Veggies:
Kale
Red cabbage
Cauliflower
Onions
Asparagus
Fruits:
Apples
Oranges
Meats:
Grass-fed ground beef
Grass-fed pork chops
Canned sardines in water
After spending about 1 hour wandering in the little organic stores, I spent the next 5 hours cooking! I made a cauliflower mash (which is the equivalent to mash potatoes), a stuffed eggplant (literally stuffed with its insides plus some onions and garlic), pico de gallo (using my onions and tomatoes from an earlier shopping trip), and some stir-fried ground beef with onions, garlic, and jalapenos. My last dish was a mixture of kale and button mushrooms. I still have 2 pork chops sitting in the fridge defrosted and just waiting for my next move. I figure that will be easy. Some marinating in some sauce, and presto-change-o! I will have another source of protein. I'm also waiting for another day to use my red cabbage to make some sort of slaw using paleo mayo! The thought of making my own mayonnaise and creating my own slaw is too exciting-- and therefore, I must exercise my enthusiasm for later.
As it is, even if these dishes don't sound much, the extravaganza of cooking 5 dishes took me 300 minutes from start-to-finish. 300 minutes!!! As in 5 hours!!! I was exhausted afterwards, and even now I feel surprised by myself. I hope this paleo thing works out for me and I can maintain some shred of self-control when my sugar cravings dominate me. I also hope I don't overeat because there's no mention of portion control anywhere on the paleo blogs that I've been surfing. I would ask my trainer at the gym, but seeing as I've harassed him all weekend about food, I should probably give him a break. At some point, though I have to address this issue of overeating. I've already found myself feeling extremely heavy in my stomach because of all this protein I'm consuming.
For once, I miss breads! And I sooo miss my cheese, my soy, and just my beans. I crave sugar in an obsessive way too, so I desperately google youtube clips to watch cooking shows that encourage me to wait and cook later to make my own healthy sweets.
self control, self control, self control....
I have found myself in unhealthy relationships with others and, in turn, myself. This blog details my journey to find self-compassion: to reflect on my own role in unhealthy relationships and to focus on me. This is my attempt to look inward to become more self-aware. If my writings are relate-able to anyone, it is my hope that I can offer a sense of normalcy about wanting to feel loved and connected without losing your sense of self along the way...
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