Do you ever run out of things to say?

I heard from Jay a couple of hours after my last post. He was completely unfazed by our lack of communication. In fact, he texted just as he has regularly done so for the last half year with: "Hey, how's your day going?"

Afterwards, we talked on the phone and there was quite a lot to catch-up on since we hadn't spoken in 2 days to each other. It was kind of fun to learn about what he's done in a whole 48 hour-period and to learn about all these new things he's doing. He's basically going on the paleo diet and has been drastically changing his eating habits. As if his physical fitness wasn't already extreme.  I can't get over how self-disciplined he is, and self-motivated, and driven. Man, that's sexy.

Sometimes, I worry if we'll ever run out of things to say to one another.  I worry that I might run out of things to say to him, so I'll bore him. And then he'll leave me! I also wonder if he'll run out of things to say to me and then he'll leave me because he'll think I'm too boring to talk to.

Oh, wow. I just realized that in both scenarios, I'm taking responsibility for both of us running out of things to say to each other.

What an ideal example of me being super doubtful of myself. I'm always wondering when I'll be abandoned because something about ME is not good enough. It's so exhausting to live this way, but I just don't know any other way.